Well this should be interesting! I already feel defensive from reading the title! lol Let's dive in to the Word and see what God wants to tell us.
Be Blessed!
-Linda
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Current Book Study Beginning Friday 16 September 2011
John 3:16
For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life.
About Me
- Linda Faith
- I am a proud Air Force wife with an amazing supportive husband, Jarod. I am a stay at home mom of 3 wonderful boys. (Aiden 10, Micah 5 1/2, Jordan 1) I am currently pregnant with our 4th (and final...NO REALLY!) baby. I hope this blog helps family and friends follow our journey through the ups and downs of pregnancy especially since we live far away from all of them.
4 comments:
Hi Ladies. I’m back from Holiday. Sorry for missing a couple of posts. Wow! This week was heavy. I’ve often wondered if Bathsheba was thrilled, honored and prideful about being called before the King for her beauty or if she was terrified and forced in to a situation against her will.
While 4 kids tends to keep me so busy during deployments that I have no time for sleep, much less trouble, I do know that I like to feel cherished and taken care of. This is something that I sorely miss when John deploys. Also, on the rare times that a man pays me attention in “that way” I am generally just stunned (“Really, Mister,…. Did you not see the four children scurrying around me?”) But I won’t pretend it isn’t a nice feeling to feel like you look pretty and attractive. That is the challenge of a deployment.
We take extra efforts to encourage each other and show affection while John is deployed. It is actually a really nice flirting time. I am also very careful to avoid any circumstance that “gives the appearance of impropriety” (A legal phrase that basically means don’t do anything that might even remotely look bad). That means I don’t invite anyone in to my house who is not with their spouse. I don’t meet for lunch with any man (even a pastor) if it might give someone the appearance that I am not honoring my husband. Pretty extreme, I know, but that’s the standard that I go by.
Finally, I really like Psalm 51. While we have been spared the pain of adultery, I have plenty o’ other sins in my life. I LOVE verse 17 that says God seeks a spirit (heart) that is broken because of sadness over sin. What an awesome and merciful God we serve!
Laurie, I want to "piggyback" off of something you said...you mentioned you don't let anyone in your house without the spouse or males. I am the same way and when I tell people this they often look at me perplexed. I had an incident two one at my last base and one at this base. My husband deployed in June and about a week later a gentleman knocked at my door now both James and I know this man not well but we met him at a Thanksgiving party last year. When I opened the door I said hello and asked what could I do for him...well to keep this story short this gentleman showed up at my house 6 different times. At this time I told my husband and his response was if he couldn't come by while I was there why is he stopping by now. My husband always tells me that I am a square peg in a round hole. He says," you would not know if a man was flirting with you...he says I never ever see it..and he is right. Anyway I asked this gentleman to please stop coming by my house. Oddly, enough and even to my surprise he didn't and then he started calling..he got my number from this female I know. Okay to end this I had to put my foot down hard and it was hard for me because I just didn't get it. I am always amazed at how people act when their spouses are deployed. This was upsetting for me and I will be very honest with him I had a few choice words for him...I had to ask God to forgive me and I had to wear a rubber band on my wrist because I was so upset that I was still swearing (I am only human).
So as Laurie said I can't agree with you more, that is why often times I keep to myself, I don't keep hardly any female friends...Laurie (you are exceptional and I really mean that)...
I think the story of Bathsheba is interesting because being married to military is challenging but I think people often forget that it is just as hard for that military man or woman that is deployed....
Also my husband deploys a lot and I think it has made my marriage stronger. James and I flirt all the time and I can honestly say I still get butterflies in my stomach when I talk to him on the phone and see him. Marriage is a blessing that many take for granted.
I completely agree with you Laurie and Karen! Jarod and I have both been previously married. We both know the pain of betrayal and having an unfaithful spouse. For this reason we are VERY open and honest with each other. We set boundaries and make rules to follow. We often get weird looks when we say we aren't close friends with someone of the opposite sex. We won't be alone with someone of the opposite if we can help it.
While Jarod was deployed I was surprised by the different emotions I felt. I knew I would miss being in his arms but I noticed I started trying to dress nicer and get more attention. It felt good to know someone else noticed me. I used to feel weird or violated if someone stared at me and now I liked it! This was a big warning sign for me. I confided in close friends and asked for prayer. I didn't want to play with fire. I loved feeling good about myself (I got in great shape) but I needed to be careful with the way I carried myself and make sure I had a pure heart. It was a challenge!
I am happy to say that after Jarod returned, 7 months later, we both felt great and had nothing to feel guilty about. We even talked to each other about our temptations and asked each other for prayer so there were no surprises. He knew I faced temptation and I knew he faced temptation. But we nipped it in the bud.
I surrounded myself with godly people as much as possible. I was careful what movies I watched and what music I listened to. I had a limit to how much wine I would let myself drink.
It certainly helps to have a plan and to be proactive. Otherwise you will be sideswiped!
I have wondered about Bathsheba. I have "won the favor" of men in power before and it shocked me. I couldn't believe they "chose" me and I was hypnotized by their power and influence over so many people. After getting to know these men I would be faced with reality and guilt. The "buzz" goes away when you realize you were the temporary choice and then you feel like trash for not seeing it and allowing yourself to fall in to temptation. It is my guess that Bathsheba was initially caught up in the moment of being noticed by the King (and missing male attention since her husband was gone). Then she had to face reality. She betrayed her husband and that is shameful. It appears that she and David did their best to find redemption and receive God's forgiveness. But I imagine that was a long and difficult process for them both.
I have seen several marriages survive betrayal. God can do anything...if you let Him! My first marriage was not saved and that's ok with me. My ex is still consumed by his addiction to women and drugs. I feel no guilt or condemnation for leaving him. I know I have God's blessing. I see it everyday when I look at Jarod and my 3 beautiful boys. But I do agree that marriage is worth fighting for and everyone should do everything in their power to make it work...even when one messes up.
Hi Everyone,
I agree with Laurie, Chapter 5 is heavy. That's what the world bring us now a days. I agree on Linda that it is good to surround yourself with Christians. I am so thankful that I have a church in every base we go. I be able to meet people that will be able to lift me up or a person that is a good influence on me. Everytime my husband deploys, I focus mysef to kids.And I hangout with friends from church. And even m husband is here too we chose to be friends with the people we know from church.
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